Why I Don’t Chase “Balance” Anymore

Balance

The Myth of Balance

For most of my twenties, I chased a myth. It was wrapped in productivity jargon, self-help quotes, and the polished aesthetics of influencers and startup gurus. They called it “work-life balance,” and I was convinced that if I could just find the right mix of effort and rest, hustle and family time, ambition and peace, I’d finally feel whole.

Spoiler: I never did.

Trying to Make It Work

I tried calendars, to-do lists, rigid time blocks, early morning routines, Pomodoro timers, and weekly planning boards. I downloaded all the right apps and read all the right books. I followed advice from people who seemed to have it all figured out.

But no matter what I tried, I never quite arrived at that mythical state of balance. There was always something tipping the scale. A work crisis bleeding into dinner. A sick kid needing me right when I hit flow state. A personal low during a professional high. And eventually, I realized: maybe the problem wasn’t my discipline. Maybe the problem was the idea of balance itself.

Why Chasing Balance Doesn’t Work

Balance assumes there’s some perfect ratio. That if I just adjust the weights enough, I’ll stand still, centered, steady. But life’s not like that. Life is dynamic. Some seasons are all-in on work. Some demand your full attention at home. Some feel like chaos no matter what you do. And chasing balance just made me feel like I was always falling short.

Presence Over Perfection

What I chase now is presence.

When I’m with my kids, I want to be with them — not half-scrolling my inbox in the background. When I’m deep in a project at work, I want to be focused and unapologetic about giving it energy. I don’t try to do both at once anymore. I’ve learned that multitasking is often just a way to disappoint multiple people at the same time, including yourself.

Presence doesn’t mean perfection. It doesn’t mean I never get distracted or feel pulled in two directions. It just means I’m honest about what this moment needs from me. And I’ve stopped judging myself when my life doesn’t look like someone else’s curated grid.

Letting Go of the Lie

I also stopped glorifying the idea that I could “do it all” if I just tried harder. The truth is, doing it all is a lie. You can do a lot of things well, but not all at once. Every yes is a no to something else. And when I stopped chasing balance and started owning my tradeoffs, life got clearer.

Sometimes that means I miss a meeting to go to a school event. Sometimes it means I work late and miss bedtime. Neither moment defines my worth as a father or a professional. What matters is the pattern over time, not the moment in isolation.

Embracing “Good Enough”

I’ve also found peace in letting some things be “good enough.” Not every meal has to be from scratch. Not every email needs the perfect tone. Not every weekend has to be memory-making magic. When I stopped holding myself to an impossible standard, I made space for more grace.

Grace, it turns out, feels a lot more like balance than balance ever did.

Asking Better Questions

I still plan my weeks. I still set goals. But I also ask myself deeper questions: Where do I need to show up right now? What can wait? Who needs more of me this week — my team, my kids, or myself?

These questions don’t always have easy answers. But they lead me better than any calendar hack ever did.

From Control to Trust

Balance, to me, was about control. Presence is about trust. Trusting that I know what matters. Trusting that I can shift gears with intention. Trusting that I don’t have to split myself in two to be enough.

So no, I don’t chase balance anymore.

I chase clarity.

I chase presence.

I chase peace.

And ironically, I feel more balanced than I ever have.

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