Balancing Career and Family When You’re Never Home
- John
- 2 days ago
- 3 min read
There’s a specific kind of guilt that comes from hearing your kid tell you something you missed.
A school play. A funny joke at dinner. A scraped knee. A small, unrepeatable moment that happened while you were scanning your email in another time zone.
I know that feeling.
I’ve been building a career in tech for over a decade—through airports, deadlines, crises, and high-pressure moments in massive venues. I’ve got a job I’m proud of and a family I’m even prouder of. But the reality is that I’m on the road. A lot.
And while I can't always be home, I’ve learned how to be present anyway. Here’s how.
1. Presence Isn’t About Proximity
Being in the same room doesn’t mean you’re showing up.
Presence is about attention. Intent. Energy.
When I’m with my kids—even if it’s a short FaceTime—I’m with them. No scrolling. No work distractions. Just me, dialed in.
One great 10-minute conversation matters more than two hours of distracted chaos.
2. I Give My Time a Job
When I’m home, I assign my time like I do at work:
Breakfast is phone-free.
Bedtime is sacred.
The first hour back from a trip is always for the kids.
That structure helps me stay focused—and helps my family know what to count on.
3. I Include Them in the Chaos (Sometimes)
My son knows what I do. My daughter thinks airplanes are where Daddy lives.
But I bring them into my world:
I show them stadiums when I can.
I explain what I’m working on.
I send them photos from the road.
Letting them see the purpose behind the distance makes it feel less random—and makes them feel part of the mission.
4. I Don’t Lie About the Hard Stuff
I’ve learned not to sugarcoat. When my son says, "I miss you," I don’t brush it off. I tell him I miss him too. I tell him why I’m gone.
Honesty builds trust. And trust keeps us close, even when we’re apart.
5. I Use Tech to Close the Gap
I record bedtime stories on my phone. I send voice notes from the hotel. Sometimes I build shared playlists we can listen to in different cities.
Tech isn’t a replacement—but when used with intention, it helps fill in the gaps with warmth, not just updates.
6. I Let Guilt Be a Signal, Not a Weight
I still feel it. That twinge. That ache.
But I don’t let it spiral. I let it signal something:
Am I honoring my priorities?
Have I drifted too far from what matters?
When the answer is yes—I recalibrate. Guilt becomes growth.
7. I Choose Depth Over Volume
The truth? I’m not always home. But when I am—I’m all in.
No agenda. No multitasking. Just connection. Laughter. Eye contact. A Lego set, a dance party, or a walk to the park.
That’s the presence they’ll remember.
Final Thought: They Don’t Need Perfection. They Need You.
If you're building something and traveling for work, know this: You’re not failing your kids by chasing your career. You only fail when you disappear emotionally.
They need you real. Engaged. Human.
And even from a thousand miles away—you can be all of that.
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